Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
