Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
