I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
