38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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