i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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