I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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