You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
