By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
