I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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