I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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