We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
