MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sext me about skeletons
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
