if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
