Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
