yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
