I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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