I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
