I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
