At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
