just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
