We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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