Whod you bang
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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