Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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