Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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