Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
