The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm always down for nudity.
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