please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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