So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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