Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
