She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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