PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
