Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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