I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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