1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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