well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
