She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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