I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I have post one night stand depression
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
