Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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