what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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