you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
