When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
