you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
