I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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