There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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