the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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