Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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