There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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