So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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