I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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