i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
