it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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