If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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