After last night, I could never be a politician.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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