she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it glows. i had to have it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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