Just fell off a train. Bad.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
