all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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