Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
