do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
