I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Boobs speak an international language.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
