Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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