I never want to see another naked old woman again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Watching her eat just hurts me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
FUCK WHALES
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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