Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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