no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize