Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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